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A few festive funnies

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Tarquin View Drop Down
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    Posted: 22 Dec 2017 at 12:38

Paddy decides to take up boxing and goes for the required medical. A few days later the doctor phones and says Paddy, you realise you’ve got sugar diabetes.
Paddy says, Nice one, when do I fight him?



Paddy caught his Wife having an affair and decided to kill her and himself. He puts the gun to his head, looks at his Wife and says "Don't laugh, your next!!"




Little boy gets home from school and says "Dad, I've got a part in the school play as a man who's been married for 25 years."
His Dad replies "Never mind Son. Maybe next time you'll get a speaking part!!"


A Yorkshire man takes his cat to the vet.
Yorkshireman: "Ayup, lad, I need to talk to thee about me cat"
Vet: "Is it a tom?"
Yorkshireman: "Nay, I've browt it with us."



A Yorkshireman's dog dies and as it was a favourite pet he decides to have a gold statue made by a jeweller to remember the dog by.
Yorkshireman: "Can tha mek us a gold statue of yon dog?"
Jeweller: "Do you want it 18 carat?"
Yorkshireman: "No I want it chewin' a bone yer daft bugger!"



The last is always best
Bloke from Barnsley with piles asks chemist "Nah then lad, does tha sell arse cream?"
Chemist replies "Aye, Magnum or Cornetto?"
California 111 70th Anniversary Model, California 1100i 75th Anniversary Model, Honda ST1300


“Never argue with an idiot. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.”
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V7Chris View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote V7Chris Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22 Dec 2017 at 13:06
Very droll
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Mike H View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Mike H Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22 Dec 2017 at 16:26
Big smile


"Chicken nuggets don't dance on a Tuesday."
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